Serf:Eddy the Great
From KneeQuickie
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Eddy the Great, or Steven Edwin Ohlms, is a member of the ZBB noted both for his use of non-Western elements in conlanging and his incorporation of politics into conworlding. Among his most prominent and notorious traits is his autism (technically Aspergers syndrome) and the obstinate attitude it results in.
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Art and Entertainment
Although once greatly fascinated by science (as many Aspergers sufferers are), Ohlms made a move towards various means of artistic expression when...
Writing
Music
Anime
Philosophy
The philosophical outlook of Ohlms centers around a grim and dour materialism eased only by his self-confessedly absurd and baseless concern for humanity.
Religion
Agnosticism
Politics
Anarchism
Languages
Unusually for a conlanger, Ohlms has remarkably little skill in language as such and is among the few truly monolingual members of the ZBB (except perhaps for marginal members such as Serali). Rather, his abilities seem to lie more in the understanding of abstract concepts involved, which have helped him make sense of the various exotic elements in his conlangs.
Want to learn
Despite his age, Eddy has not entirely given up hope of learning another language, even if the odds are against him (and when are they not?). He has considered a number of languages, but has yet to settle on any for various reasons, most notably the fact that his age prevents him from attaining anything resembling real fluency. As a result, his chances of forming anything superficial acquaintanceship with native speakers are decidedly low.
Latin — Intellectual yet utterly useless and tied to imperialism and slavery
Sanskrit — Cool but also pretty useless and hierarchical like Latin
Spanish — Fairly inegalitarian grammar but most handy from an activist standpoint
Russian — Extremely hard but an obvious choice with its ties to socialism
Studying
Italian — Just started and getting familiar with the basic grammar, which seems to be going well
Japanese — Some experience and familiarity, can read most kana but next to no kanji
Spelling Reform
Ohlms considers himself a mild advocate for spelling reform, though he does not expect to see it come to pass any time soon. In the mean time, he has been toying with a reformed spelling system of his own designed to appease orthographic conservatives somewhat while dealing with the more egregious difficulties in English spelling.
p - /p/
t - /t/
k - /k/
b - /b/
d - /d/
g - /g/
f - /f/
th - /T/
s - /s/
sh - /S/
v - /v/
dh - /D/
z - /z/
zh - /Z/
ch - /tS/
j - /dZ/
m - /m/
n - /n/
ng - /N/
r - /r\/
l - /l/
y - /j/
w - /w/
a - /a } @/
e - /e E/
i - /i I/
o - /o O/
u - /u U/
Vowels possess two pronunciations, the first (the tense) appearing in open syllables and the other (the lax) in closed ones. For tense vowels in closed syllables, an acute accent is used and for lax vowels in open syllables, a grave accent. The vowel <a> also possesses an unstressed pronunciation /@/. Obviously, the system requires much refinement, however, to better handle schwas and the like.
Ál hyuman biingz ár born fri and íkwal in digniti and raits. Dhe ár endaud with rizan and kanshans and shud akt taward wan-anodhar in dha spirit av bratharhud.
Criticism
Eddy is easily among the most controversial, if not the most loathed, members of the ZBB community. Notably, he has the dubious distinction of being one of only a handful of ZBBers ever to be banned (a list that includes the equally notorious Serali, Sean Saturday, and Feijuada). Additionally, his artistic endeavers (particularly his writing) have been harshly criticized literally across the board, attacked on a variety of grounds.
Many consider Ohlms to be the least intelligent and creative of the board regulars, and with an IQ of "only" 118, he undeniably falls on the lower end of the ZBB spectrum, at least compared to the other regular members such as Zompist, Pharazon, and Spack. Additionally, as one of the few true monolinguals, he displays very little talent with language as such and his conlangs tend to lack the naturalism and depth associated with those of his peers.
Much of the loathing and bitterness surrounding Eddy appears to stem from his aggressive but irrational flaming tendencies, a product of his non-existent social acumen and stubborn attitude (the later of which has earned him the popular nickname Ferrous Cranius). Among his most bitter adversaries is Vlad followed closely by the influential #isharia op Dewrad, both of which fiercely oppose his presence in #isharia and to a lesser extent the community as a whole. Vlad, in particular, has been a long time foe, and his current beef with Eddy dates back literally for years.
Quotes
Personal
"All kings are good for is assasination."
"I fail to see how George Bush is more qualified to make my decisions for me than I am for myself."
"Anything that requires a safeword is not worth doing."
"Christians, in their pursuit of eternal life and total bliss, are in fact the greatest hedonists of all."
Other
"Pay no attention to what critics say. No statue has ever been put up to a critic." — Jean Sibelius
"You cannot have zero piracy and if you try to get to zero piracy you will make the experience of consuming music so painful you'll have zero industry." - Chris Anderson, Wired magazine
See also:
Categories: Wikipeers | Conlangers | Musicians | Authors | Almeans | Erelaeans | Isharians | Shaleas
